Friday, October 31, 2003
dr m resigns.
when he came into power in 1981, i was all of two years old. not having been old enough to recognize or even appreciate tun hussein onn's leadership, in my mind, dr m is the only malaysian prime minister ive ever known.
ive grown up with him firmly ingrained in my consciousness as father to this country i call home, and it is with great sadness that today i will witness him step down after 22 years at the helm.
for all those who live outside malaysia, and whose countries' leadership has often been critical of him, please allow me to tell you that, as a malaysian, i hold him in the highest regard, and have never thought of him as a 'dictator'. he may have made mistakes, though i must say, nothing as embarassing as lewinsky, and may i add, nothing as embarassing as a bush gaffe. he has led our country through years of peace, with its prosperous ups and inevitable downs, and taught us, by example, how to be this mind-boggling thing called 'malaysian'.
i thought today would be just another passing day for me, historical no doubt for the significance it carries, but i was mistaken. just a few minutes ago while devouring a 60 page tribute to this man, i felt myself choke a little with emotion.
things, i realised, are going to change. the sense of stability ive always felt, in knowing the country is in capable, unwavering hands, is being shaken. not that i have too little faith in the new leadership under pak lah, but as all those who've ever been in a long term relationship, loss...and change...are hugely unsettling. especially when its a change 22 years in the making.
id like to take this opportunity (and take advantage of my current sappy state) to pay tribute to dr mahathir mohamad, the man synonymous with malaysia, for making this world in which i grew up, a place where a sane voice can still, and MUST, be heard.
and when he steps down, i pray fervently that he will continue to make his presence, and his message felt, for i feel he speaks on not just my behalf, but on the behalf of all those people who have grown up in my generation, believing there is such a thing as justice for the oppressed.
i salute you, prime minister.
ive grown up with him firmly ingrained in my consciousness as father to this country i call home, and it is with great sadness that today i will witness him step down after 22 years at the helm.
for all those who live outside malaysia, and whose countries' leadership has often been critical of him, please allow me to tell you that, as a malaysian, i hold him in the highest regard, and have never thought of him as a 'dictator'. he may have made mistakes, though i must say, nothing as embarassing as lewinsky, and may i add, nothing as embarassing as a bush gaffe. he has led our country through years of peace, with its prosperous ups and inevitable downs, and taught us, by example, how to be this mind-boggling thing called 'malaysian'.
i thought today would be just another passing day for me, historical no doubt for the significance it carries, but i was mistaken. just a few minutes ago while devouring a 60 page tribute to this man, i felt myself choke a little with emotion.
things, i realised, are going to change. the sense of stability ive always felt, in knowing the country is in capable, unwavering hands, is being shaken. not that i have too little faith in the new leadership under pak lah, but as all those who've ever been in a long term relationship, loss...and change...are hugely unsettling. especially when its a change 22 years in the making.
id like to take this opportunity (and take advantage of my current sappy state) to pay tribute to dr mahathir mohamad, the man synonymous with malaysia, for making this world in which i grew up, a place where a sane voice can still, and MUST, be heard.
and when he steps down, i pray fervently that he will continue to make his presence, and his message felt, for i feel he speaks on not just my behalf, but on the behalf of all those people who have grown up in my generation, believing there is such a thing as justice for the oppressed.
i salute you, prime minister.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
buggered.
im sick (again!)
i have noticed a pattern here. everytime the office gives me serious amounts of stress, and i feel im about to give up on this job, i fall sick. blech.
am now sitting at home feeling majorly sorry for myself, with headache, achy sinuses, swollen tonsils, and a scratchy throat. double blech.
anyways, the response from the "DO YOU THINK SHEN'S BRO SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR CLEO'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR FOR 2004?" vote was rather disappointing. i decided eventually not to nominate, but lo and behold, later, upon checking the site, i found yean had already been nominated!
studdie, you are one sneaky dude...
and so...here i was, feeling all blech this morning, when i got a phone call for my brother:
VOICE: hello, may i speak to kuan yean?
ME: (croak croak) err...no, this is his sister. he's in australia. who is this?
VOICE: im calling from cleo. we saw his nomination and we wish to shortlist him for our photo shoot. will he be back within the next two weeks?
ME: (bugger!) oh dear, i dont think so.
oh well. life can be a big fat bugger with a pot belly and bad tan sometimes.
i have noticed a pattern here. everytime the office gives me serious amounts of stress, and i feel im about to give up on this job, i fall sick. blech.
am now sitting at home feeling majorly sorry for myself, with headache, achy sinuses, swollen tonsils, and a scratchy throat. double blech.
anyways, the response from the "DO YOU THINK SHEN'S BRO SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR CLEO'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR FOR 2004?" vote was rather disappointing. i decided eventually not to nominate, but lo and behold, later, upon checking the site, i found yean had already been nominated!
studdie, you are one sneaky dude...
and so...here i was, feeling all blech this morning, when i got a phone call for my brother:
VOICE: hello, may i speak to kuan yean?
ME: (croak croak) err...no, this is his sister. he's in australia. who is this?
VOICE: im calling from cleo. we saw his nomination and we wish to shortlist him for our photo shoot. will he be back within the next two weeks?
ME: (bugger!) oh dear, i dont think so.
oh well. life can be a big fat bugger with a pot belly and bad tan sometimes.
Monday, October 27, 2003
my bro in cleo. what say you?
im on a roll today. three entries in less than half an hour. woohoo. (ok its because im not having any luck contacting the malaysian embassy in pakistan).
kai and i were surfing the net yesterday and happened to chance upon http://cleo.time.net.my/nominate.cfm where you can nominate men you know for cleo's 50 most eligible bachelors for 2004.
sad to say though, a large number of the blokes currently nominated are, to say the least, abysmal. im sure some of them have personality to make up for their lack of hotness, but c'mon! malaysian men are better looking than THAT! i betcha kai could knock most of them off the nominations list *teehee*.
matter of fact, i would nominate kai, but...but...well, he's not exactly eligible! (actually, i dont fancy much the idea of girls eating apples off his chest).
so i was thinking...hows about i nominate me bro?!! he's sweet, charming, a good listener and a gentleman. id like to know what you think, so boys and girls, what say you go take a look at him in my photo album and tell me:
DO YOU THINK SHEN'S BRO SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR CLEO'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR FOR 2004?
to vote, send a comment!
(yean's so gonna kill me for this...but whaddaheck.)
kai and i were surfing the net yesterday and happened to chance upon http://cleo.time.net.my/nominate.cfm where you can nominate men you know for cleo's 50 most eligible bachelors for 2004.
sad to say though, a large number of the blokes currently nominated are, to say the least, abysmal. im sure some of them have personality to make up for their lack of hotness, but c'mon! malaysian men are better looking than THAT! i betcha kai could knock most of them off the nominations list *teehee*.
matter of fact, i would nominate kai, but...but...well, he's not exactly eligible! (actually, i dont fancy much the idea of girls eating apples off his chest).
so i was thinking...hows about i nominate me bro?!! he's sweet, charming, a good listener and a gentleman. id like to know what you think, so boys and girls, what say you go take a look at him in my photo album and tell me:
DO YOU THINK SHEN'S BRO SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR CLEO'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR FOR 2004?
to vote, send a comment!
(yean's so gonna kill me for this...but whaddaheck.)
morbid interests.
this post is dedicated to all you lost souls who have stumbled onto this site (mistakenly) in search of:
a) pramugara terlampau
b) vcd pramugara
c) mas steward terlampau
d) movie pramugara terlampau
e) picture mas steward
f) pramugari terlampau
g) blowjob (!!!)
you will not find anything here related to the aforementioned pramugara (save for, perhaps, a little courtroom drama), and no, i dont have pictures, movies or anything of the sort.
i am a lovely innocent girl with no morbid interests. ok ok, except for crimelibrary.com.
NOTE:
i must say, the interest in my site generated from a little pramugara entry i posted a while ago (see entry for 15th october) has caught me off-guard.
so boys and girls, say hello to folks surfing in from a misguided google search, who have gotten themselves miserably lost in the sahara. *teehee*
a) pramugara terlampau
b) vcd pramugara
c) mas steward terlampau
d) movie pramugara terlampau
e) picture mas steward
f) pramugari terlampau
g) blowjob (!!!)
you will not find anything here related to the aforementioned pramugara (save for, perhaps, a little courtroom drama), and no, i dont have pictures, movies or anything of the sort.
i am a lovely innocent girl with no morbid interests. ok ok, except for crimelibrary.com.
NOTE:
i must say, the interest in my site generated from a little pramugara entry i posted a while ago (see entry for 15th october) has caught me off-guard.
so boys and girls, say hello to folks surfing in from a misguided google search, who have gotten themselves miserably lost in the sahara. *teehee*
emo.
am in a state of melancholy.
why is it that when you find something wonderful you always end up having to let it go?
but...*sigh*...it isnt my place to ask these things, is it.
bugger.
ok folks, im a happy bouncy person, i am.
i am i am i am i am (vain attempt to think positive).
bugger. this is so not working.
why is it that when you find something wonderful you always end up having to let it go?
but...*sigh*...it isnt my place to ask these things, is it.
bugger.
ok folks, im a happy bouncy person, i am.
i am i am i am i am (vain attempt to think positive).
bugger. this is so not working.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
weekenders
sorry folks, but am having a lovely lazy weekend (read: reclusive) and wont post anythin worth adecent read til monday. hang in there boys and girls.
Friday, October 24, 2003
at the photo booth
Thursday, October 23, 2003
busy busy busy
sorry folks, i doubt ill be writing anything of interest today. two assignments and no time to breathe even.
*sigh* the sucky part of being a reporter.
*sigh* the sucky part of being a reporter.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
letter from an australian
found in today's New Straits Times, finally, a voice of sensibility in a world of increasing idiocy:
DR M'S REMARKS BOLD, TRUTHFUL, FROM THE HEART
Not every Australian agrees with our Prime Minister John Howard’s retort that Datuk Seri Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s remarks at the recent OIC summit were offensive and unhelpful. I, for one, do not find it repugnant to tell the truth where others dare not.
Wars are not a solution. Too many people do not see the realities of this situation and choose to follow what others tell them like sheep following a herdsman. Jerusalem has seen little else but conflict, and yet nothing has been resolved through the decades of bloodshed. I speak as a veteran of the Second World War, and agree with Dr Mahathir when he said that there is a need to rethink about using violence as a means.
My father used to say if you put a Jew together with two other nationals, the Jew would get them to fight against one another. They are actually the greatest terrorists.
I have travelled to many countries, without problems, because I respect their customs and ways. Sensitivity is what is needed in a world where the most uncommon thing is, in fact, common sense.
To Dr Mahathir I wish happy retirement. Of all the politicians I have heard, he is the first who spoke from the heart and not the pocket.
GORDON PATTERSON
Australia
DR M'S REMARKS BOLD, TRUTHFUL, FROM THE HEART
Not every Australian agrees with our Prime Minister John Howard’s retort that Datuk Seri Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s remarks at the recent OIC summit were offensive and unhelpful. I, for one, do not find it repugnant to tell the truth where others dare not.
Wars are not a solution. Too many people do not see the realities of this situation and choose to follow what others tell them like sheep following a herdsman. Jerusalem has seen little else but conflict, and yet nothing has been resolved through the decades of bloodshed. I speak as a veteran of the Second World War, and agree with Dr Mahathir when he said that there is a need to rethink about using violence as a means.
My father used to say if you put a Jew together with two other nationals, the Jew would get them to fight against one another. They are actually the greatest terrorists.
I have travelled to many countries, without problems, because I respect their customs and ways. Sensitivity is what is needed in a world where the most uncommon thing is, in fact, common sense.
To Dr Mahathir I wish happy retirement. Of all the politicians I have heard, he is the first who spoke from the heart and not the pocket.
GORDON PATTERSON
Australia
road-bullied
why are some men so horrible to women on the road?
last night, as i was driving home, i happened to come across one such horrible man who, in the space of about 10 minutes, succeeded in giving me one of the worst cases of shock i have ever had the misfortune to experience.
the drama began at about 12.05 am, as i started driving away from the traffic lights at the elevated intersection of jalan utara in pj. coming down the ramp, this man (who henceforth shall be known as 'the fuckwit') decided to try cutting me off from the left which was, as proven a few seconds later, an impossible (and bloody dangerous) task. jammed on a road that merged from two lanes into one, between a dead-slow proton in front, a speeding vehicle approaching on my right, and the fuckwit on my left...i panicked and swerved to avoid being hit on both sides. the fuckwit bumped me anyway, and then the nightmare began.
apparently taking the little bump as a sign to start terrorizing me, as soon as we got onto the highway, the fuckwit sped up behind me and began flashing his lights at me madly. using his left signal lamp to indicate he wanted me to pull over, he began tail-gating me so closely i could no longer see his headlamps. swerving left and right behind me, he made it clear i was in trouble.
needless to say, i was terrified. i dared not look to my left or right but tried speeding up to avoid him. not satisfied, the fuckwit then pulled up to my left and tried pushing me into the divider. not once, not twice, but THREE times. the third time, he wound down his window and gestured rudely at me, screaming at me to pull over.
with one hand on the wheel, one eye on the road, one eye on the divider, i used my free hand to scramble about in my handbag for my phone. where was that goddamn phone when i needed it?
finally, at the toll, i dislodged the phone from somewhere in the nether regions of my bag and called dad. and began to cry. quite hysterically. pulled over near the toll plaza, i sat in the car and shivered from my head right down to my pinky toe. i couldnt drive with my leg trembling so badly. had i tried, what a sight THAT wouldve been.
as for fuckwit, he probably saw me on the phone getting help and made a run for it. thank God, i never saw his car again.
the story ends almost as dramatically. i felt like quite a movie star by the end of it. dad got mum out of bed and both came to rescue silly crying ol' me some 15 kilometers away from home. kai rushed over in this heroic knight sorta way, and later cuddled me, all the while cooing 'there, there baby'.
in a funny way, despite the terror of the evening, i felt loved.
p.s. dear God, i hope fuckwit goes to road-bully hell, where everyone sits in their puny little cars while satan crashes them into dividers many times over. MUAHAHAHAHA.
last night, as i was driving home, i happened to come across one such horrible man who, in the space of about 10 minutes, succeeded in giving me one of the worst cases of shock i have ever had the misfortune to experience.
the drama began at about 12.05 am, as i started driving away from the traffic lights at the elevated intersection of jalan utara in pj. coming down the ramp, this man (who henceforth shall be known as 'the fuckwit') decided to try cutting me off from the left which was, as proven a few seconds later, an impossible (and bloody dangerous) task. jammed on a road that merged from two lanes into one, between a dead-slow proton in front, a speeding vehicle approaching on my right, and the fuckwit on my left...i panicked and swerved to avoid being hit on both sides. the fuckwit bumped me anyway, and then the nightmare began.
apparently taking the little bump as a sign to start terrorizing me, as soon as we got onto the highway, the fuckwit sped up behind me and began flashing his lights at me madly. using his left signal lamp to indicate he wanted me to pull over, he began tail-gating me so closely i could no longer see his headlamps. swerving left and right behind me, he made it clear i was in trouble.
needless to say, i was terrified. i dared not look to my left or right but tried speeding up to avoid him. not satisfied, the fuckwit then pulled up to my left and tried pushing me into the divider. not once, not twice, but THREE times. the third time, he wound down his window and gestured rudely at me, screaming at me to pull over.
with one hand on the wheel, one eye on the road, one eye on the divider, i used my free hand to scramble about in my handbag for my phone. where was that goddamn phone when i needed it?
finally, at the toll, i dislodged the phone from somewhere in the nether regions of my bag and called dad. and began to cry. quite hysterically. pulled over near the toll plaza, i sat in the car and shivered from my head right down to my pinky toe. i couldnt drive with my leg trembling so badly. had i tried, what a sight THAT wouldve been.
as for fuckwit, he probably saw me on the phone getting help and made a run for it. thank God, i never saw his car again.
the story ends almost as dramatically. i felt like quite a movie star by the end of it. dad got mum out of bed and both came to rescue silly crying ol' me some 15 kilometers away from home. kai rushed over in this heroic knight sorta way, and later cuddled me, all the while cooing 'there, there baby'.
in a funny way, despite the terror of the evening, i felt loved.
p.s. dear God, i hope fuckwit goes to road-bully hell, where everyone sits in their puny little cars while satan crashes them into dividers many times over. MUAHAHAHAHA.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
the unfortunate story of lieutenant-general boykin
PREAMBLE
donald rumsfeld once said:
"There are a lot of things that are said by people that are their views. And that's the way we live. We are free people and that's the wonderful thing about our country, and I think for anyone to run around and think that can be managed or controlled is probably wrong."
you might have wished he'd said that in lieu of lambasting our prime minister for 'anti-semitism'. or at least to acknowledge dr. m's right to free speech.
but sadly, no. he said these immortal words in reference to one lieutenant-general william 'jerry' boykin.
OUR BLOKE JERRY
jerry is, in fact, the guy appointed by the US to head the war on terrorism's intelligence effort. he is a straight-laced no-nonsense army-man kinda guy. he's also christian. which is fair enough. if only he didnt shove that fact down everybody's throats.
take for example, what jerry once said to an oregon religious group in june this year:
"Satan wants to destroy this nation. He wants to destroy us as a nation. And he wants to destroy us as a Christian army."
or what he once said to l.a. times military analyst william arkin:
"Why do they (Osama, Saddam, Kim Jong Il) hate us? The answer is because we're a Christian nation. We are hated because we are a nation of believers. Our spiritual enemy will only be defeated if we come against them in the name of Jesus."
JERRY IS MISGUIDED
now pardon moi if im mistaken, but since when was the US a christian nation? isnt it meant to be secular? what with all the talk about democracy, the right to freedom of religion, and the separation of church and state?
kai pointed out to me last night that in theory it is, but in practice its "In God We Trust". and with george 'dubya' bush in office, i dont seem all that surprised.
still, dear jerry forgets that there are probably a whole lotta other non-christian folks fighting for his so-called christian army. and i bet theyd be pretty pissed if they knew they were supposed to be fighting in the name of jesus without their knowledge.
dont get me wrong. im christian too. but whether i am or not, its difficult not to resent jerry's religious-fanatic rhetoric.
JERRY'S EGO
our bloke jerry also has a huge ego. upon the capture of an elusive muslim rebel leader, jerry says they succeeded because:
"I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and that his was an idol."
IS JERRY AN IDIOT?
oh, i suppose it would be mean to say jerry is an idiot. but you'd be forgiven for thinking so.
you see, jerry seems mighty sure of himself, and of his place in the world. i betcha jerry will go places, though im not sure where exactly he'll end up. i dont like jerry very much. and i think he has dubious opinions regarding his boss:
"George Bush was not elected by a majority of the voters in the United States....
(you got that right there, jerry)
He was appointed by God."
IN CONCLUSION
jerry is an idiot.
donald rumsfeld once said:
you might have wished he'd said that in lieu of lambasting our prime minister for 'anti-semitism'. or at least to acknowledge dr. m's right to free speech.
but sadly, no. he said these immortal words in reference to one lieutenant-general william 'jerry' boykin.
OUR BLOKE JERRY
jerry is, in fact, the guy appointed by the US to head the war on terrorism's intelligence effort. he is a straight-laced no-nonsense army-man kinda guy. he's also christian. which is fair enough. if only he didnt shove that fact down everybody's throats.
take for example, what jerry once said to an oregon religious group in june this year:
or what he once said to l.a. times military analyst william arkin:
JERRY IS MISGUIDED
now pardon moi if im mistaken, but since when was the US a christian nation? isnt it meant to be secular? what with all the talk about democracy, the right to freedom of religion, and the separation of church and state?
kai pointed out to me last night that in theory it is, but in practice its "In God We Trust". and with george 'dubya' bush in office, i dont seem all that surprised.
still, dear jerry forgets that there are probably a whole lotta other non-christian folks fighting for his so-called christian army. and i bet theyd be pretty pissed if they knew they were supposed to be fighting in the name of jesus without their knowledge.
dont get me wrong. im christian too. but whether i am or not, its difficult not to resent jerry's religious-fanatic rhetoric.
JERRY'S EGO
our bloke jerry also has a huge ego. upon the capture of an elusive muslim rebel leader, jerry says they succeeded because:
IS JERRY AN IDIOT?
oh, i suppose it would be mean to say jerry is an idiot. but you'd be forgiven for thinking so.
you see, jerry seems mighty sure of himself, and of his place in the world. i betcha jerry will go places, though im not sure where exactly he'll end up. i dont like jerry very much. and i think he has dubious opinions regarding his boss:
(you got that right there, jerry)
He was appointed by God."
IN CONCLUSION
jerry is an idiot.
keeping in touch
i gotta admit: im hopeless at keeping in touch with people i care about.
i know i know. it sounds so contradictory, doesnt it. but people get mad at me all the time for not calling, replying emails, going out, chatting for hours with them on the phone, or even doing the whole yam char thing.
its not that i dont have the time, sometimes i do. that is, when im not working 16 hour days, spending quality time with my parents who never see me, or with my boy who wont be in malaysia much longer *sniff*.
i wont try to make excuses for myself. i know im terrible at it, and eventhough i always say im going to make time for all of you, truth is, when i actually DO get time for me, i tend to spend it by myself.
boys and girls, please know that not only do i forget to take care of you guys, i also forget to take care of myself.
i discovered this the other day upon realizing to my utter horror that i have dustballs under my bed (yes, HUGE balls of DUST) which have been contributing all this time (without my knowledge) to my sniffly nose, months of coughing and constant bouts of sneezing. and there i was thinking i had some serious disease.
if that wasnt bad enough, there was a dead cockroach resting in peace under a bag i have not moved since...since...well, since i put it on top of the cockroach (cause of death: possibly due to a heavy bag-sized object).
ok. so there's worse. i havent waxed my legs in yonks. tweezed my eyebrows since the last time i read the news. gone for a much-needed facial in months. or been to the doctor for a medical check up on the cough. havent been to the bank to pay for my car, or credit card. or to maxis to pay my phone bill.
i blog while im at work. disappear from the face of the earth over weekends and resurface in a state of madness on mondays.
forgive me folks. i may be a bad friend. but i still love you all.
im sorry.
i know i know. it sounds so contradictory, doesnt it. but people get mad at me all the time for not calling, replying emails, going out, chatting for hours with them on the phone, or even doing the whole yam char thing.
its not that i dont have the time, sometimes i do. that is, when im not working 16 hour days, spending quality time with my parents who never see me, or with my boy who wont be in malaysia much longer *sniff*.
i wont try to make excuses for myself. i know im terrible at it, and eventhough i always say im going to make time for all of you, truth is, when i actually DO get time for me, i tend to spend it by myself.
boys and girls, please know that not only do i forget to take care of you guys, i also forget to take care of myself.
i discovered this the other day upon realizing to my utter horror that i have dustballs under my bed (yes, HUGE balls of DUST) which have been contributing all this time (without my knowledge) to my sniffly nose, months of coughing and constant bouts of sneezing. and there i was thinking i had some serious disease.
if that wasnt bad enough, there was a dead cockroach resting in peace under a bag i have not moved since...since...well, since i put it on top of the cockroach (cause of death: possibly due to a heavy bag-sized object).
ok. so there's worse. i havent waxed my legs in yonks. tweezed my eyebrows since the last time i read the news. gone for a much-needed facial in months. or been to the doctor for a medical check up on the cough. havent been to the bank to pay for my car, or credit card. or to maxis to pay my phone bill.
i blog while im at work. disappear from the face of the earth over weekends and resurface in a state of madness on mondays.
forgive me folks. i may be a bad friend. but i still love you all.
im sorry.
Monday, October 20, 2003
this makes me SO mad.
having enjoyed the rare honour of my photograph being taken with the prime minister on friday AND the pride of having that moment broadcast 'live' over national telly...it bridles me to read the incredibly biased news stories about his no-holds-barred speech at the OIC.
'amazingly' enough, his clarification to the western media the day after his speech, an attempt to correct the unfair reports about his apparent 'anti-semitic' remarks, were never carried in any of the news mediums which criticized him so brazenly the day before.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID...
MAHATHIR DRAWS FIRE FOR JEW REMARKS
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
"Mr Efraim Zuroff of the Simon Weisanthal Centre, which pursues Nazi war criminals said, 'This man is an anti-Semite and he doesnt hide it.' US State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said the remarks were offensive and inflammatory: 'We view them with the contempt and derision they deserve'."
MAHATHIR SLAMS 'SHERIFF HOWARD'
-www.news.com.au, 19th October
Australian Opposition foreign affairs spokesman Kevin Rudd: "An incitement to religious violence yesterday, followed by the description of Australia as a terrorist state today requires John Howard to use APEC in Bangkok to bring about comprehensive regional condemnation of this man."
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"Britain called in the Malaysian High Commissioner to upbraid him for Mahathir's 'racist' remarks, while in Bangkok, Bill Graham, Canada's minister of foreign affairs, called them 'totally unacceptable'.
MALAYSIA APOLOGIZES FOR 'MISUNDERSTANDING' OVER STATEMENT THAT JEWS RUN WORLD
-Patrick McDowell, AP (http://info.mgnetwork.com), 17th October
"Australian Prime Minister John Howard called Mahathir's comments offensive and repugnant."
MALAYSIAN REGRET OVER JEW REMARKS
-www.cnn.com, 17th October
"Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Jonathan Peled told CNN, 'It comes as no surprise that in a summit like this there is a search for the lowest common denominator among the members, which is Israeli-bashing.' A senior administration official (of the US) said, 'His most recent hate-filled remarks further cement his legacy of outrageous and misguided public statements. We urge leaders of all faiths to publicly condemn these vile statements.'"
ANTI-JEWISH REMARKS MAY MAR MAHATHIR'S POLITICAL SWAN SONG
-Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au), 20th October
"Nonetheless, Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer described the remarks as 'anti-Semitic' and 'profoundly disturbing'."
MALAYSIA TO MUSCLE IN ON TRADE TERRITORY
-Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au), 20th October
"The Minister for Foreign Affairs Alexander Downer, took the extraordinary step of dressing down the acting Malaysian Foreign Minister Dr Michael Leo Toyad, telling him taht Dr Mahathir's recent remarks about Jews ruling the world by proxy were unacceptable and racist."
WHAT THOSE WHO REALLY HEARD THE SPEECH SAID...
MALAYSIA'S ANGRY OLD MAN BOWS OUT
-yahoo!news (http://news.yahoo.com), 18th October
"Hosting an Islamic Summit, Mahathir drew howls of protest from Western countries and Israel by saying: 'The Europeans killed six million Jews out of 12 million, but today the Jews rule the world by proxy'. His real message, that the Arabs should stop fighting a losing battle and sue for peace, was drowned out in the furore of the assertion that a Jewish lobby controlled Western powers."
MUSLIM LEADERS BACK MAHATHIR
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher: "Nobody felt it was inflammatory. We thought it was a very very wise assessment. It was addressed to the Muslims, it was an appeal for them to wake up."
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"Arab leaders insisted Mahathir was simply telling it like it is. "I don't think they are anti-Semitic at all. I think he was stating the facts," Yemeni Foreign Minister Abubakr al-Qirbi said.
MAHATHIR DRAWS FIRE FOR JEW REMARKS
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
"Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher said 'This was a pep talk to the Muslim countries...but as soon as you have any criticism of Israel there are peoplewho are very eager to rush to condemnation, without comprehending.'"
DAUNTING TASK FOR MALAYSIA WITH TWO HATS
-The Star (www.thestar.com.my), 20th October
"Yes, he did tell OIC members to prepare for the defence of the ummah with guns, rockets, bombs and warplanes...but it was only to stress the importance of science and technology as the weapons and horses of the time of Prophet Muhammad could not help defend their nations today."
MAHATHIR THANKS CHIRAC FOR BLOCKING SUMMIT DECLARATION ON JEWISH REMARKS
-Taipei Times (www.taipeitimes.com), 20th October
"'It's most unfortunate, the reaction that has come out is terrible,' Malaysian Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar said in an interview on Australian television. 'Arabs are also Semites. Whenever a Jew says that Semites only refer to Jews then it becomes an accepted thing.' He said Mahathir had intended to remind Muslims that if they wanted to be successul they must, think, plan and not use aggression. The Jews had 'real power' because they had worked hard and successfully achieved knowledge and influence."
BUT THE FEEDBACK THAT SHOULD SHUT THEM ALL UP...
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"There are people wanting to create trouble, invent problems that do not exist," said Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher. "I would advise them to read the whole speech."
WELL SAID, MATE.
'amazingly' enough, his clarification to the western media the day after his speech, an attempt to correct the unfair reports about his apparent 'anti-semitic' remarks, were never carried in any of the news mediums which criticized him so brazenly the day before.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID...
MAHATHIR DRAWS FIRE FOR JEW REMARKS
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
"Mr Efraim Zuroff of the Simon Weisanthal Centre, which pursues Nazi war criminals said, 'This man is an anti-Semite and he doesnt hide it.' US State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said the remarks were offensive and inflammatory: 'We view them with the contempt and derision they deserve'."
MAHATHIR SLAMS 'SHERIFF HOWARD'
-www.news.com.au, 19th October
Australian Opposition foreign affairs spokesman Kevin Rudd: "An incitement to religious violence yesterday, followed by the description of Australia as a terrorist state today requires John Howard to use APEC in Bangkok to bring about comprehensive regional condemnation of this man."
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"Britain called in the Malaysian High Commissioner to upbraid him for Mahathir's 'racist' remarks, while in Bangkok, Bill Graham, Canada's minister of foreign affairs, called them 'totally unacceptable'.
MALAYSIA APOLOGIZES FOR 'MISUNDERSTANDING' OVER STATEMENT THAT JEWS RUN WORLD
-Patrick McDowell, AP (http://info.mgnetwork.com), 17th October
"Australian Prime Minister John Howard called Mahathir's comments offensive and repugnant."
MALAYSIAN REGRET OVER JEW REMARKS
-www.cnn.com, 17th October
"Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Jonathan Peled told CNN, 'It comes as no surprise that in a summit like this there is a search for the lowest common denominator among the members, which is Israeli-bashing.' A senior administration official (of the US) said, 'His most recent hate-filled remarks further cement his legacy of outrageous and misguided public statements. We urge leaders of all faiths to publicly condemn these vile statements.'"
ANTI-JEWISH REMARKS MAY MAR MAHATHIR'S POLITICAL SWAN SONG
-Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au), 20th October
"Nonetheless, Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer described the remarks as 'anti-Semitic' and 'profoundly disturbing'."
MALAYSIA TO MUSCLE IN ON TRADE TERRITORY
-Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au), 20th October
"The Minister for Foreign Affairs Alexander Downer, took the extraordinary step of dressing down the acting Malaysian Foreign Minister Dr Michael Leo Toyad, telling him taht Dr Mahathir's recent remarks about Jews ruling the world by proxy were unacceptable and racist."
WHAT THOSE WHO REALLY HEARD THE SPEECH SAID...
MALAYSIA'S ANGRY OLD MAN BOWS OUT
-yahoo!news (http://news.yahoo.com), 18th October
"Hosting an Islamic Summit, Mahathir drew howls of protest from Western countries and Israel by saying: 'The Europeans killed six million Jews out of 12 million, but today the Jews rule the world by proxy'. His real message, that the Arabs should stop fighting a losing battle and sue for peace, was drowned out in the furore of the assertion that a Jewish lobby controlled Western powers."
MUSLIM LEADERS BACK MAHATHIR
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher: "Nobody felt it was inflammatory. We thought it was a very very wise assessment. It was addressed to the Muslims, it was an appeal for them to wake up."
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"Arab leaders insisted Mahathir was simply telling it like it is. "I don't think they are anti-Semitic at all. I think he was stating the facts," Yemeni Foreign Minister Abubakr al-Qirbi said.
MAHATHIR DRAWS FIRE FOR JEW REMARKS
-The Straits Times (http://straitstimes.com.sg), 18th October
"Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher said 'This was a pep talk to the Muslim countries...but as soon as you have any criticism of Israel there are peoplewho are very eager to rush to condemnation, without comprehending.'"
DAUNTING TASK FOR MALAYSIA WITH TWO HATS
-The Star (www.thestar.com.my), 20th October
"Yes, he did tell OIC members to prepare for the defence of the ummah with guns, rockets, bombs and warplanes...but it was only to stress the importance of science and technology as the weapons and horses of the time of Prophet Muhammad could not help defend their nations today."
MAHATHIR THANKS CHIRAC FOR BLOCKING SUMMIT DECLARATION ON JEWISH REMARKS
-Taipei Times (www.taipeitimes.com), 20th October
"'It's most unfortunate, the reaction that has come out is terrible,' Malaysian Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar said in an interview on Australian television. 'Arabs are also Semites. Whenever a Jew says that Semites only refer to Jews then it becomes an accepted thing.' He said Mahathir had intended to remind Muslims that if they wanted to be successul they must, think, plan and not use aggression. The Jews had 'real power' because they had worked hard and successfully achieved knowledge and influence."
BUT THE FEEDBACK THAT SHOULD SHUT THEM ALL UP...
MALAYSIAN PM FANS FLAME AFTER REMARKS CAUSE STORM
-The Toronto Star (www.thestar.com), 18th October
"There are people wanting to create trouble, invent problems that do not exist," said Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher. "I would advise them to read the whole speech."
WELL SAID, MATE.
Friday, October 17, 2003
*teehee*
has anyone ever checked out the blogger ads that run at the top of the page? theyre apparently supposed to be based on the contents of your blog.
mine, as of 2.30 pm this 17th october, feature ads for "men's underwear" and have related searches for "men in speedos" and "cute quotes".
go figure.
mine, as of 2.30 pm this 17th october, feature ads for "men's underwear" and have related searches for "men in speedos" and "cute quotes".
go figure.
*yawn*
im bored. no court, no OIC. nothing to do but sit in the office and be boredboredboredboredbored.
it sucks that zab is no longer working here. things are without a doubt very quiet...and the evil laughter that used to resound in the newsroom when she was around is startlingly absent.
SO WHAT'S NEWSWORTHY?
hmmm...lemme see.
KAI IN PAPER
kai is in the papers. berita harian and utusan have photos of him riding down the escalator...wedged between all these OIC delegates.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
a sea of arab faces, and then *smack*...youre struck with a pale, VERY non-muslim chinese face....ok ok ok. its newsworthy coz he's cute. OK!
JOHN HOWARD IS PISSED WITH DR M
the malaysian prime minister, in his opening speech at the OIC summit, tells his fellow muslims they must not only use brawn in their fight against oppression, but like the jews, use their brains as well. the jews, he claims, now control the world; they can make others fight and die for their cause. and although they, in the fight for territory and religious supremacy, are technically 'the enemy', their power and influence on the world today can be used as an example by muslims, of how a minority can become a political and economic force to be reckoned with.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
only a man as thick as john howard (e.g. george w bush) would read into a statement like that and call it "jew-bashing". after all, if he had done his research (and read the entire speech, he would know that the OIC was set up in support of the palestinian cause. obviously, wouldnt it make sense that the point of contention would be israel?
IM HUNGRY
'nuff said.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
if it wasnt, i wouldnt be telling you would i?
IM BORED
cant you tell?
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
oh, bugger off. am going to zzz now.
*yawn*
it sucks that zab is no longer working here. things are without a doubt very quiet...and the evil laughter that used to resound in the newsroom when she was around is startlingly absent.
SO WHAT'S NEWSWORTHY?
hmmm...lemme see.
KAI IN PAPER
kai is in the papers. berita harian and utusan have photos of him riding down the escalator...wedged between all these OIC delegates.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
a sea of arab faces, and then *smack*...youre struck with a pale, VERY non-muslim chinese face....ok ok ok. its newsworthy coz he's cute. OK!
JOHN HOWARD IS PISSED WITH DR M
the malaysian prime minister, in his opening speech at the OIC summit, tells his fellow muslims they must not only use brawn in their fight against oppression, but like the jews, use their brains as well. the jews, he claims, now control the world; they can make others fight and die for their cause. and although they, in the fight for territory and religious supremacy, are technically 'the enemy', their power and influence on the world today can be used as an example by muslims, of how a minority can become a political and economic force to be reckoned with.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
only a man as thick as john howard (e.g. george w bush) would read into a statement like that and call it "jew-bashing". after all, if he had done his research (and read the entire speech, he would know that the OIC was set up in support of the palestinian cause. obviously, wouldnt it make sense that the point of contention would be israel?
IM HUNGRY
'nuff said.
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
if it wasnt, i wouldnt be telling you would i?
IM BORED
cant you tell?
WHY ITS NEWSWORTHY
oh, bugger off. am going to zzz now.
*yawn*
Thursday, October 16, 2003
shen @ the OIC
so i didnt make it to court today. sorry boys and girls.
but...BUT...i DID make it to the OIC! something id been looking forward to for a while, until they dashed my hopes miserably by putting together a media team that did not include me. well, until today that is.
i was sent to stake out the second finance minister, to get him to comment on the penang cheque scam (yes, yes...those PENANG folks harrr...i tell you harrr...very cannot trust one harrr...*muahahaha*). i know i know...it had NOTHING to do with the OIC, but whaddahell. it still meant i was there anyways right? and that i still got to cuci mata right? so there.
not that there was much to cuci mata LAH. arab men are, by and far, mostly scruffy. media, both local and foreign...*yawn*. politicians, both local and foreign...err...too old. some scruffy. some dubious. then there are the cleaners, the bodyguards, the drivers, the busybodies, the cute guy in the secretariat (oops. did i just say that?!)
but oh...OH. there WAS one thing...
i did discover, to my horror, the proportions of the arab man. yes, yes. THOSE proportions...
THE HORROR OF IT ALL
there i was, chatting innocently with a fellow reporter about this sheikh she thought was cute (ok ok, maybe not so innocently lah)...when...standing against the light...in an ornate white flowy robe...(see-thru too)...was a man with the longest errr....shadow (?) both of us had ever seen! and he just HAD to be sorta swinging about, and that thing (err...shadow!) just swung INDEPENDENTLY of him! thats really how long it was! i gasped, she gasped, and then we both turned away, blinked, and looked again! you know...had to double check what...
sure enough, upon checking with another (malaysian) man, many arab men dont wear undies, or boxers, or jockstraps (not that the aforementioned man's toolbox could have fit in either three anyway). and upon our male friend's second opinion (and wide eyed stare, i might add), he reluctantly agreed that the shadow could not have been anything but.
so there. i have devoted an entire entry on the OIC...to the story of an arab man's toolbox.
(see how much else i remember about the event itself?)
but...BUT...i DID make it to the OIC! something id been looking forward to for a while, until they dashed my hopes miserably by putting together a media team that did not include me. well, until today that is.
i was sent to stake out the second finance minister, to get him to comment on the penang cheque scam (yes, yes...those PENANG folks harrr...i tell you harrr...very cannot trust one harrr...*muahahaha*). i know i know...it had NOTHING to do with the OIC, but whaddahell. it still meant i was there anyways right? and that i still got to cuci mata right? so there.
not that there was much to cuci mata LAH. arab men are, by and far, mostly scruffy. media, both local and foreign...*yawn*. politicians, both local and foreign...err...too old. some scruffy. some dubious. then there are the cleaners, the bodyguards, the drivers, the busybodies, the cute guy in the secretariat (oops. did i just say that?!)
but oh...OH. there WAS one thing...
i did discover, to my horror, the proportions of the arab man. yes, yes. THOSE proportions...
THE HORROR OF IT ALL
there i was, chatting innocently with a fellow reporter about this sheikh she thought was cute (ok ok, maybe not so innocently lah)...when...standing against the light...in an ornate white flowy robe...(see-thru too)...was a man with the longest errr....shadow (?) both of us had ever seen! and he just HAD to be sorta swinging about, and that thing (err...shadow!) just swung INDEPENDENTLY of him! thats really how long it was! i gasped, she gasped, and then we both turned away, blinked, and looked again! you know...had to double check what...
sure enough, upon checking with another (malaysian) man, many arab men dont wear undies, or boxers, or jockstraps (not that the aforementioned man's toolbox could have fit in either three anyway). and upon our male friend's second opinion (and wide eyed stare, i might add), he reluctantly agreed that the shadow could not have been anything but.
so there. i have devoted an entire entry on the OIC...to the story of an arab man's toolbox.
(see how much else i remember about the event itself?)
have you been looking for nemo?
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
my day in court
PREAMBLE
one of the coolest things about being a reporter is that you sometimes (but not necessarily always) get to go for a pretty neat assignment.
OK, HERE'S THE DEAL
so who in malaysia has NOT heard of the 'pramugara terlampau'? (if you havent, well...go read the papers! or...err...get the VCD? *snicker*)
for those not in malaysia, and who do not have the privilege of indulging in our local rag 'the malay mail'...our "pramugara terlampau", or "excessive steward" is an MAS man who got lucky with a female colleague, filmed his 'luck' on his trusty handycam, apparently destroyed the tape, only to 'discover' the footage in VCD form months later, sold for 10 buckaroos a pop, for all the world to see. naturally, since he's the star of the show, he got his ass busted.
so...there you go, boys and girls...yours truly, the uncool reporter that i am, was finally sent for a happening assignment. the newsroom heard my resounding whoops of shameless joy when i was told that i was going to court.
and let me tell you, it's one thing to hear all the sordid details second hand in the papers, and another thing completely to hear it right from the horse's mouth (who also happens to be in the witness stand *teehee*)...
i watched sadly as the female witness (the unwitting 'actress') squirmed uncomfortably as the lawyers played the VCD for her, and asked her who the woman doing 'such and such' was.
i giggled briefly when the judge asked the second witness, a male steward on board the same flight, what he meant by 'a blowjob'...
...and i blushed bright red when he stuttered before explaining in Malay: '...errr...menghisap kemaluan, Yang Arif?' (in English: oh, YOU KNOW!)
ahhhh, the rare joys of reporting...
just wait til i fill you in tomorrow...on the next exciting issue of 'pramugara terlampau'...
one of the coolest things about being a reporter is that you sometimes (but not necessarily always) get to go for a pretty neat assignment.
OK, HERE'S THE DEAL
so who in malaysia has NOT heard of the 'pramugara terlampau'? (if you havent, well...go read the papers! or...err...get the VCD? *snicker*)
for those not in malaysia, and who do not have the privilege of indulging in our local rag 'the malay mail'...our "pramugara terlampau", or "excessive steward" is an MAS man who got lucky with a female colleague, filmed his 'luck' on his trusty handycam, apparently destroyed the tape, only to 'discover' the footage in VCD form months later, sold for 10 buckaroos a pop, for all the world to see. naturally, since he's the star of the show, he got his ass busted.
so...there you go, boys and girls...yours truly, the uncool reporter that i am, was finally sent for a happening assignment. the newsroom heard my resounding whoops of shameless joy when i was told that i was going to court.
and let me tell you, it's one thing to hear all the sordid details second hand in the papers, and another thing completely to hear it right from the horse's mouth (who also happens to be in the witness stand *teehee*)...
i watched sadly as the female witness (the unwitting 'actress') squirmed uncomfortably as the lawyers played the VCD for her, and asked her who the woman doing 'such and such' was.
i giggled briefly when the judge asked the second witness, a male steward on board the same flight, what he meant by 'a blowjob'...
...and i blushed bright red when he stuttered before explaining in Malay: '...errr...menghisap kemaluan, Yang Arif?' (in English: oh, YOU KNOW!)
ahhhh, the rare joys of reporting...
just wait til i fill you in tomorrow...on the next exciting issue of 'pramugara terlampau'...
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
the league of quite ordinary gentlemen
*sigh*
what a horrid, horrid piece of script-writing. and such a shame that it had to spew from sean connery's mouth too.
folks, ive never been one to pan a movie, but this one just made me want to get out of the cinema and go home.
and now boys and girls, for our blow-by-blow dissection of this sad excuse of a film *drum roll please*:
TOM FREAKING SAWYER (what the....?)
this film reeks of american concessionism. i mean, if you absolutely had to have a hollywood film about european heroes, you can't NOT have an american one too, can you? enter tom sawyer. excuse the fact that he was annoying enough already as a character, but the father/son relationship the scriptwriters tried to cultivate between him and quatermain? excuse me, but...*retch retch*
the brilliant one-liner intro up there, folks, is our fellow quatermain's last words to "agent" tommy as he breathes his last. the very establishment of british culture and might, alan quatermain, hands over his reins of power (with blessings too!) to our bouncy over-enthusiastic american upstart. and everybody goes "awwwww..."
so yeah, watch painfully as young, blonde, scruffy all-american tom grows into a *choke* hero in the space of two hours. oh oh oh! and dont forget...the simpering glances exchanged between little tommy and our lovely vampiress mina harker towards the end of the movie, as her heart opens up to his boyish charm. oh, sorry...but didnt you know? in hollywood, the american ALWAYS gets the girl...
THEY LOST THE PLOT. TOTALLY.
and literally, too. i was at least lucky enough to have read the comic book first, courtesy of kai, who assured me it was a must-read. and what a relief that i did, too...because had i watched the film first, no amount of convincing would have redeemed those poor gentlemen in my eyes.
the comic had me glued from page one. the movie had me yawning from london. kai will tell you i was so into the book, i even made him translate the chinese text so i could follow every bit of the story. and the art...well, let's just my imagination was moved far more by the hand-drawn. and that says very little for the movie.
here's a tip: it might have helped if they had just stuck to the original storyline.
THE SFX
no, not SEX, dear, altho in this context, id say sex would have been more exciting.
have you ever seen the marshmallow man in ghostbusters? yeah, well...in this day and age of computer animation, you would at the very least expect mr hyde to resemble more of the rippling beast that he is...and less of the marshmallow man, wouldnt you?
ok ok. ill give the movie this: altho i was disappointed they did not construct the nautilus they way they should have, at least the sheer size of it in the film takes your breath away. and not much else. but still.
SEASONED ACTORS
should be meant in a positive way, but sadly, seasoning did not give these actors the oomph they needed to carry off their roles. what ever happened to sean "call me bond" connery? such a half-hearted performance and none of that zeal and candour he's so famous for.
peta wilson...sexy piece of work, but she didnt really have to spill the beans on her identity so soon and so readily. the woman looked too thrilled to be giving away a dirty little secret. and we all know, a woman like that must be avoided at all costs...isnt that right boys? (too bad tom sawyer's too thick to get it)
the rest...yawn...except perhaps the dude who played edward jekkyl. he can tahan LAH.
TOM FREAKING SAWYER
bloody tom freaking sawy.....oh. wait a minute. havent i picked on him already? arr, what the heck...BLOODY TOM FREAKING SAWYER!
i could go on. but really, ive got work to do, and too little dedication to write a word more on how disappointed i am.
rating? five pans out of five.
Saturday, October 11, 2003
why things happen
i had a profound moment today. i looked back upon the past few months of my life, and in retrospect discovered that everything really does happen for a reason.
many months ago, as some of those very dear to me would know, my life was close to not being much of a life at all. things happened in such a way that at the time, i felt God was being cruel...punishing me perhaps, for something i had once done. i kept asking myself: why? why?
but little did i know then that we can question every bad thing that happens to us, but we are not meant to know the answers until the time is absolutely right. for if we were to know, we would hardly learn the lessons associated with bad experience. and without those vital lessons, we might not have the courage to pick ourselves up and start walking again...only this time, in the right direction.
we often think we are on the right path. even if we arent, we try to convince ourselves that we are, regardless of well-meaning advice from those who may know us better than we know ourselves. i was one such person...pushing myself along a path i thought was right for me, brushing away what people said, taking their words to mean they didnt understand, or simply didnt want to.
looking back of course, even the act of pushing myself along the wrong path was something that had to happen, for me to realise in the end what the right path was. after all, there can be no "up" if there is no "down", and no "right" without a "wrong". how would we appreciate otherwise, what good experiences are, unless we learnt to take courage from bad ones?
the key word, i suppose, is courage. its so easy to give up when times are bad, to say "i cant do this anymore"...but if we were to sit down and remember what good eventually came out of all our bad moments, we would also remember that we wouldnt have gotten as far as the good times if we hadnt the courage to pick ourselves up after the fall. none of us would be walking today, boys and girls, if we hadnt dared to when our first baby step ended in a stumble.
and so i looked back today, thought about the bad times, the goddamn rotten times, the days i wanted to non-exist, the days i wanted to stay fallen and not get up...
...and i came back to the present, proud of the fact that had i not been through those times, i wouldnt have learnt courage. and without that couarge, i wouldnt have learnt that id been wrong. and that without that wrong, i wouldnt have known what, or who, was right. and that without falling flat on my face, and picking myself up out of the hole id fallen into, i would never have been where i am today...more self-aware, happier than ive ever been, and stronger. oh yes, stronger.
of course, i still have my little moments of weakness, of fear.
but at least this time, i know that if i should fall flat on my face again, it simply means that there is something better for me ahead, and im only being taught how to get there.
many months ago, as some of those very dear to me would know, my life was close to not being much of a life at all. things happened in such a way that at the time, i felt God was being cruel...punishing me perhaps, for something i had once done. i kept asking myself: why? why?
but little did i know then that we can question every bad thing that happens to us, but we are not meant to know the answers until the time is absolutely right. for if we were to know, we would hardly learn the lessons associated with bad experience. and without those vital lessons, we might not have the courage to pick ourselves up and start walking again...only this time, in the right direction.
we often think we are on the right path. even if we arent, we try to convince ourselves that we are, regardless of well-meaning advice from those who may know us better than we know ourselves. i was one such person...pushing myself along a path i thought was right for me, brushing away what people said, taking their words to mean they didnt understand, or simply didnt want to.
looking back of course, even the act of pushing myself along the wrong path was something that had to happen, for me to realise in the end what the right path was. after all, there can be no "up" if there is no "down", and no "right" without a "wrong". how would we appreciate otherwise, what good experiences are, unless we learnt to take courage from bad ones?
the key word, i suppose, is courage. its so easy to give up when times are bad, to say "i cant do this anymore"...but if we were to sit down and remember what good eventually came out of all our bad moments, we would also remember that we wouldnt have gotten as far as the good times if we hadnt the courage to pick ourselves up after the fall. none of us would be walking today, boys and girls, if we hadnt dared to when our first baby step ended in a stumble.
and so i looked back today, thought about the bad times, the goddamn rotten times, the days i wanted to non-exist, the days i wanted to stay fallen and not get up...
...and i came back to the present, proud of the fact that had i not been through those times, i wouldnt have learnt courage. and without that couarge, i wouldnt have learnt that id been wrong. and that without that wrong, i wouldnt have known what, or who, was right. and that without falling flat on my face, and picking myself up out of the hole id fallen into, i would never have been where i am today...more self-aware, happier than ive ever been, and stronger. oh yes, stronger.
of course, i still have my little moments of weakness, of fear.
but at least this time, i know that if i should fall flat on my face again, it simply means that there is something better for me ahead, and im only being taught how to get there.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
missing in action
...and making money while im at it.
hello boys and girls. sorry ive been so awfully quiet.
truth is, ive been on leave, earning more buckaroos in a single week than i earn in a month slogging at ntv7.
ive been up to my neck emcee-ing events (and trust me, it IS tiring). all the rehearsals, script-writing, and client-meeting is driving me up the wall. still, its a welcome respite from doing as much, if not more work than i do in my full-time job...and only because emcee-ing earns me more respect, and lots more money, than newsreading does. how sad is that! *sigh*
on another note...yesterday was a sad day for me. twas zab's last day at work and i couldnt even be there to share it with her. met up with her, angeline, studmuffin and freddy, among others, later in the night at tsb. admittedly, i was very watery-eyed but managed to make it thru without being overly sappy or tearful.
adding salt to my already weepy wounds, ive discovered angeline wont be with us at ntv7 much longer too. looks to me like some resignation en masse, and im not even on the bloody bandwagon. i had consoled myself with the thought that at least should zab no longer be there, at least i had angeline as my office girly pal (studdie, you dont count!)...and now even that doesnt wash. *grump grump*
i had a long talk with kai about it last night...i figure im officially at that stage in life now known to researchers as the quarter-life crisis. i know where i eventually want to be, and what i want to eventually end up doing...only problem is, how on earth do i get there? so confused, so confused...so many other uncertainties in my family life (should i move out/should i stay/should i move out/should i stay) and love life...
fuzzy about career
+
family vs independence
+
love vs fear
=
perfect recipe for frustration
i wish sometimes, that there was a way to have just one teeny-weeny glimpse of the future, if only so i could know what to do with myself now. a point in the right direction perhaps.
is it just me? or is anyone else out there having a quarter-life crisis?
hello boys and girls. sorry ive been so awfully quiet.
truth is, ive been on leave, earning more buckaroos in a single week than i earn in a month slogging at ntv7.
ive been up to my neck emcee-ing events (and trust me, it IS tiring). all the rehearsals, script-writing, and client-meeting is driving me up the wall. still, its a welcome respite from doing as much, if not more work than i do in my full-time job...and only because emcee-ing earns me more respect, and lots more money, than newsreading does. how sad is that! *sigh*
on another note...yesterday was a sad day for me. twas zab's last day at work and i couldnt even be there to share it with her. met up with her, angeline, studmuffin and freddy, among others, later in the night at tsb. admittedly, i was very watery-eyed but managed to make it thru without being overly sappy or tearful.
adding salt to my already weepy wounds, ive discovered angeline wont be with us at ntv7 much longer too. looks to me like some resignation en masse, and im not even on the bloody bandwagon. i had consoled myself with the thought that at least should zab no longer be there, at least i had angeline as my office girly pal (studdie, you dont count!)...and now even that doesnt wash. *grump grump*
i had a long talk with kai about it last night...i figure im officially at that stage in life now known to researchers as the quarter-life crisis. i know where i eventually want to be, and what i want to eventually end up doing...only problem is, how on earth do i get there? so confused, so confused...so many other uncertainties in my family life (should i move out/should i stay/should i move out/should i stay) and love life...
+
family vs independence
+
love vs fear
=
perfect recipe for frustration
i wish sometimes, that there was a way to have just one teeny-weeny glimpse of the future, if only so i could know what to do with myself now. a point in the right direction perhaps.
is it just me? or is anyone else out there having a quarter-life crisis?
Sunday, October 05, 2003
girls' night out
the girls had a night out yesterday (and all the way into the wee hours of this a.m. *hee!*)...the first in five months.
and for a reformed party animal like me, trust me, that's a loooonggg time to abstain from dancing.
of course, the result was that casey and i went nuts on the dancefloor, hogged the podium, and jiggied NON-STOP until 4 a.m.
though the upside was the sheer euphoria of the disco lights, pumping bass and the appreciative looks (woohoo!)...sadly, the downside (i.e. today) is aching feet, aching butt (yes, my butt. dont look at me that way, its rude.) and eye bags big enough for my wallet, handphone and a pen or two.
there was also the groping.
casey and i are official podium-babies. we have never gone to a party and not hogged the podium (or bartop, or chair, or table). so yesterday, we're on the podium, facing the minions on the dancefloor (MUAHAHAHAHA), when these two Singaporean guys (men must feel deprived in Singapore) joined us on-stage and proceeded to:
a) try to pick up casey
b) failing which, try to pick up li'l ol' me
c) failing which, grope her
d) failing which, grope me.
a rescue phone call from kai got me outside and out of the clutches of groper #1 and unfortunately, following the phone call, back into the clutches of groper #2.
men, a word of advice. if a woman is not interested in you (and by this i mean, she ignores you completely, answers you in monosyllables or socks you in the nose), then you DO NOT EVER proceed to follow her around like a lost puppy dog. why?
a) this is creepy.
b) it could get you hauled in by security
c) it could get you thrown out by security
d) it could result in you being bed-ridden (or limping, depending on severity of kick) for a week
casey and i also discovered that in nouvo, you are NOT ALLOWED to dance on the sofas.
*yawn*.
anyways, its sunday, im in the office, and now its back to work. zzzzzzzzzz.
and for a reformed party animal like me, trust me, that's a loooonggg time to abstain from dancing.
of course, the result was that casey and i went nuts on the dancefloor, hogged the podium, and jiggied NON-STOP until 4 a.m.
though the upside was the sheer euphoria of the disco lights, pumping bass and the appreciative looks (woohoo!)...sadly, the downside (i.e. today) is aching feet, aching butt (yes, my butt. dont look at me that way, its rude.) and eye bags big enough for my wallet, handphone and a pen or two.
there was also the groping.
casey and i are official podium-babies. we have never gone to a party and not hogged the podium (or bartop, or chair, or table). so yesterday, we're on the podium, facing the minions on the dancefloor (MUAHAHAHAHA), when these two Singaporean guys (men must feel deprived in Singapore) joined us on-stage and proceeded to:
a) try to pick up casey
b) failing which, try to pick up li'l ol' me
c) failing which, grope her
d) failing which, grope me.
a rescue phone call from kai got me outside and out of the clutches of groper #1 and unfortunately, following the phone call, back into the clutches of groper #2.
men, a word of advice. if a woman is not interested in you (and by this i mean, she ignores you completely, answers you in monosyllables or socks you in the nose), then you DO NOT EVER proceed to follow her around like a lost puppy dog. why?
a) this is creepy.
b) it could get you hauled in by security
c) it could get you thrown out by security
d) it could result in you being bed-ridden (or limping, depending on severity of kick) for a week
casey and i also discovered that in nouvo, you are NOT ALLOWED to dance on the sofas.
*yawn*.
anyways, its sunday, im in the office, and now its back to work. zzzzzzzzzz.
Saturday, October 04, 2003
letter to a friend
dear friend,
you know who you are.
you are a strong, smart, beautiful person.
you dont need a man to tell you so. especially a man who treats you the way HE does.
i remember when you could live without a man. i remember when you had no tolerance for male fuckwittage. i remember you saying you would never give a man a third chance.
friend:
i have only this to say to you.
you, as a woman, must stand tall. dont keep falling for this man with the lost-puppy-dog face. he does not need you, he only needs your attention. if you keep giving in, the third time, fourth time, fifth time...eventually your whole life will be reduced to numbers.
numbers that will mean only pain to you...as you struggle to keep count of the times he's hurt you.
either that, or you will continue to live pre-occupied with bodycounts.
there is more to life than this one man, friend. remember the life you had without heartache? it wasnt so bad, was it? at least then you had pride, dignity and most important of all, your self-respect.
you should no longer fight for him, or for the memory of him. you must no longer fight with him or about him.
now you must fight for you.
fight for your happiness and for the right to smile. fight for your dignity and for the return of your health.
fight too for the man who will be yours some day. fight for the chance to find him. and to do that you must fight to let this one go.
remember these words, my friend. you are too precious for the likes of this man.
you know who you are.
you are a strong, smart, beautiful person.
you dont need a man to tell you so. especially a man who treats you the way HE does.
i remember when you could live without a man. i remember when you had no tolerance for male fuckwittage. i remember you saying you would never give a man a third chance.
friend:
i have only this to say to you.
you, as a woman, must stand tall. dont keep falling for this man with the lost-puppy-dog face. he does not need you, he only needs your attention. if you keep giving in, the third time, fourth time, fifth time...eventually your whole life will be reduced to numbers.
numbers that will mean only pain to you...as you struggle to keep count of the times he's hurt you.
either that, or you will continue to live pre-occupied with bodycounts.
there is more to life than this one man, friend. remember the life you had without heartache? it wasnt so bad, was it? at least then you had pride, dignity and most important of all, your self-respect.
you should no longer fight for him, or for the memory of him. you must no longer fight with him or about him.
now you must fight for you.
fight for your happiness and for the right to smile. fight for your dignity and for the return of your health.
fight too for the man who will be yours some day. fight for the chance to find him. and to do that you must fight to let this one go.
remember these words, my friend. you are too precious for the likes of this man.
words of wisdom
jimmy liao, author/artist of "a chance of sunshine (she turns to the left, he turns to the right) says:
"Fate is very important, but i believe that habit can alter/determine
destiny..."
hmmm...
"Fate is very important, but i believe that habit can alter/determine
destiny..."
hmmm...
Friday, October 03, 2003
shout out
just wanted to use this little opportunity to say hello to all those people out there, from wherever in the world you are, who take the time to check out my blog every now and then.
the past few days have been slow and utterly miserable, and so, in lieu of dying a slow miserable death-from-boredom, ive taken the liberty to consider that there are people i have never met, who know how my day has gone.
who know how i feel at the best, and worst moments of my day, and life.
who share, without realising, or even wanting to, my grief and my joy.
who listen patiently as i rant and rave, bitch about work, and drive all of you nuts with my sappiness. lol. sometimes i even imagine some far off person sitting at a pc somewhere...rolling his/her eyes at some of my sappier entries. *rolls eyes*
in the beginning i was a little creeped out about the whole shebang, but now that i think of it, knowing that you guys are out there and reading is actually comforting in a morbid kinda way.
at least i know that should nobody in my sad little life care about what i think, there ARE still one or two people who will stumble upon me here in the sahara, and care enough to visit again.
so yeah...thank you boys and girls.
oh...and one more thing...you're always welcome to say hello.
the past few days have been slow and utterly miserable, and so, in lieu of dying a slow miserable death-from-boredom, ive taken the liberty to consider that there are people i have never met, who know how my day has gone.
who know how i feel at the best, and worst moments of my day, and life.
who share, without realising, or even wanting to, my grief and my joy.
who listen patiently as i rant and rave, bitch about work, and drive all of you nuts with my sappiness. lol. sometimes i even imagine some far off person sitting at a pc somewhere...rolling his/her eyes at some of my sappier entries. *rolls eyes*
in the beginning i was a little creeped out about the whole shebang, but now that i think of it, knowing that you guys are out there and reading is actually comforting in a morbid kinda way.
at least i know that should nobody in my sad little life care about what i think, there ARE still one or two people who will stumble upon me here in the sahara, and care enough to visit again.
so yeah...thank you boys and girls.
oh...and one more thing...you're always welcome to say hello.
crappy days
yepppp...for every three good days, there's always one crappy day.
and today just had to be it.
i woke up feeling distinctly off. in a rotten mango kinda way. you know, off.
had my roti and kaya *i love!*...and then the day just took the downward trend.
got to work late, went for assignment late, watched chua ji meng hijack an entire press conference on SMI's and turn it into a mini health briefing.
even then, the day was still bearable.
back at the office later, zab, angeline and i were told that the newsroom is being reorganised. we would be split up, placed at opposite ends of the office and had the rest of the day to make sure we had cleared our stuff.
the official rhetoric: we're getting new staff, and moving you away from each other is necessary to accomodate them.
the unofficial half-assed spiel: you bitch too much about the ofice together, and so you must be isolated from one another.
its so juvey its ridiculous!
and so i discover ive been moved to the front of the office with my computer screen in full view of the assignment desk, so that, on top of ensuring i cant hang out and talk shit with zab and angeline, i cant check my mail, blog or do the messenger thing without being monitored.
ok.
so then i get called into the jokers' 3pm editorial meeting ad come out feeling harassed. apparently my story isnt juicy enough.
go and chek the net, they say. find out how malaysia can contribute to international cancer research. but, i argue, chua didnt say that at all! im not stuffing words he didnt say into his mouth! no buts, im told, GO.
so i do that. and guess what?
they drop the story. beaut.
on top of all this BS, a colleague gets sacked, 24 hours notice, and i feel, for reasons i cant explain, responsible.
the one high-point of the day, making frantic plans with zab to catch craig david live (and free, btw) in concert over the next weekend, raidly gets dashed as i discover to my horror i could be working over both days for the OIC.
when i finally leave the office, and get home, im met by my dad's sorrowful face at the gate.
'go take a look at the pond', he says.
i do, and realise in horror that our pond, teeming with at least 250 fish this a.m., is now left with 10 lonely little critters, the unfortunate survivors of a pond-cleaning expedition gone wrong.
chin, our maid, is hysterical and her eyes, swollen from crying.
i tell her, its ok. she scrambles to her knees and begs my forgiveness. i could have cried.
outside, my forlorn father digs a tiny grave for 250 dead fish, who will finally see fishy heaven from the inside of a black plastic trash bag.
*sigh*
and today just had to be it.
i woke up feeling distinctly off. in a rotten mango kinda way. you know, off.
had my roti and kaya *i love!*...and then the day just took the downward trend.
got to work late, went for assignment late, watched chua ji meng hijack an entire press conference on SMI's and turn it into a mini health briefing.
even then, the day was still bearable.
back at the office later, zab, angeline and i were told that the newsroom is being reorganised. we would be split up, placed at opposite ends of the office and had the rest of the day to make sure we had cleared our stuff.
the official rhetoric: we're getting new staff, and moving you away from each other is necessary to accomodate them.
the unofficial half-assed spiel: you bitch too much about the ofice together, and so you must be isolated from one another.
its so juvey its ridiculous!
and so i discover ive been moved to the front of the office with my computer screen in full view of the assignment desk, so that, on top of ensuring i cant hang out and talk shit with zab and angeline, i cant check my mail, blog or do the messenger thing without being monitored.
ok.
so then i get called into the jokers' 3pm editorial meeting ad come out feeling harassed. apparently my story isnt juicy enough.
go and chek the net, they say. find out how malaysia can contribute to international cancer research. but, i argue, chua didnt say that at all! im not stuffing words he didnt say into his mouth! no buts, im told, GO.
so i do that. and guess what?
they drop the story. beaut.
on top of all this BS, a colleague gets sacked, 24 hours notice, and i feel, for reasons i cant explain, responsible.
the one high-point of the day, making frantic plans with zab to catch craig david live (and free, btw) in concert over the next weekend, raidly gets dashed as i discover to my horror i could be working over both days for the OIC.
when i finally leave the office, and get home, im met by my dad's sorrowful face at the gate.
'go take a look at the pond', he says.
i do, and realise in horror that our pond, teeming with at least 250 fish this a.m., is now left with 10 lonely little critters, the unfortunate survivors of a pond-cleaning expedition gone wrong.
chin, our maid, is hysterical and her eyes, swollen from crying.
i tell her, its ok. she scrambles to her knees and begs my forgiveness. i could have cried.
outside, my forlorn father digs a tiny grave for 250 dead fish, who will finally see fishy heaven from the inside of a black plastic trash bag.
*sigh*
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
kai
happy days
this is one of those bouncy days.
god knows why, but for some reason i am looking at the world through rose-coloured lenses today, oblivious to everything that normally causes me much grief, anger and fuckwittage.
perhaps it's because i woke up this morning thinking: it IS possible to love AND be loved.
and not have to worry about if im loving too much, too little or none at all.
and realize that maybe i DO believe in love again. and in men. and maybe a few other things on top of that, but which i will not mention quite just yet.
and remember there isnt really anything seriously wrong with me, just with the men ive dated in the past.
for all the times ive wished i were never born, for all the times i wished i'd never loved, for all the times i wished i'd never cried, and for all the times i wished i were no longer living....im glad i can take back those wishes, and im glad they never came true.
there's life after heartbreak, and no man should ever make you feel that life cant go on afterwards.
or that love just cant be found.
after all...im living to tell the tale, and ive got these happy days to show for it.
*bounce bounce*
god knows why, but for some reason i am looking at the world through rose-coloured lenses today, oblivious to everything that normally causes me much grief, anger and fuckwittage.
perhaps it's because i woke up this morning thinking: it IS possible to love AND be loved.
and not have to worry about if im loving too much, too little or none at all.
and realize that maybe i DO believe in love again. and in men. and maybe a few other things on top of that, but which i will not mention quite just yet.
and remember there isnt really anything seriously wrong with me, just with the men ive dated in the past.
for all the times ive wished i were never born, for all the times i wished i'd never loved, for all the times i wished i'd never cried, and for all the times i wished i were no longer living....im glad i can take back those wishes, and im glad they never came true.
there's life after heartbreak, and no man should ever make you feel that life cant go on afterwards.
or that love just cant be found.
after all...im living to tell the tale, and ive got these happy days to show for it.
*bounce bounce*
