Friday, September 24, 2004
the plunge of no return.
have you ever loved someone so much your heart ached?
that you'd do anything to see him smile?
that you worry for him constantly.... is he ok? is he happy? why isn't he smiling?
that you worry about yourself constantly.... am i a good girlfriend? am i good enough for him? have i done something wrong?
that you'd try to be a better person for him?
that you'd do everything in your power not to upset him?
that you feel your heart break everytime you fail?
i think that when you feel your heart ache enough, you know you're in too deep.
you love him so much there's no turning back. no turning cold. no holds barred. no effort spared.
it's happy-ever-after or tears-thereafter.
it's a risk you'd feel was worth taking, and you'd do it again, and again, many times over... just for the joy of that single smile.
i've come this far, after so many moments of standing at the water's edge, afraid to take the plunge.
it's a scary place to be, when you can't swim and all you have is your life jacket.
or when you've taken the plunge before, and nearly drowned.
what makes the next swim worth that risk?
when you feel your heart ache this bad, you know you don't have an answer anymore.
simply because there doesn't have to be a reason.
you just take a deep breath.
and jump.
that you'd do anything to see him smile?
that you worry for him constantly.... is he ok? is he happy? why isn't he smiling?
that you worry about yourself constantly.... am i a good girlfriend? am i good enough for him? have i done something wrong?
that you'd try to be a better person for him?
that you'd do everything in your power not to upset him?
that you feel your heart break everytime you fail?
i think that when you feel your heart ache enough, you know you're in too deep.
you love him so much there's no turning back. no turning cold. no holds barred. no effort spared.
it's happy-ever-after or tears-thereafter.
it's a risk you'd feel was worth taking, and you'd do it again, and again, many times over... just for the joy of that single smile.
i've come this far, after so many moments of standing at the water's edge, afraid to take the plunge.
it's a scary place to be, when you can't swim and all you have is your life jacket.
or when you've taken the plunge before, and nearly drowned.
what makes the next swim worth that risk?
when you feel your heart ache this bad, you know you don't have an answer anymore.
simply because there doesn't have to be a reason.
you just take a deep breath.
and jump.
Monday, September 20, 2004
godmotherhood.
this post is dedicated to siti khadijah and siti aishah, aged 8 and 10 respectively, who will probably never read this entry anyway, but for whom i feel the overwhelming need to display my affection.
i think it must be the most wonderful feeling in the world to have children.
i also think most kids will be brats at some stage of their lives, and parents will have their moments where they rue the day the concieved the little monsters.
nevertheless, although ive always known that someday id really like to be a mommy, i never could have guessed how inexplicably wonderful it would feel to have two kids love me so unconditionally and genuinely with all their little hearts that it absolutely tears me apart to let them go.
of course, theyre not MY kids, and if they were, perhaps id feel differently about this altogether... what with sleepless nights, eyebags and the risk of never being fashionable again!
still, there's something innately beautiful about a child... and no, its not just that theyre pint-sized and cute or even cuddly.
it must be their open trusting faces, their wide-eyed innocence, their loving hearts so willingly and so easily placed in the care of your hands.
i never thought i was good with children. if ive ever been, its only been in the capacity of a big sister. a cheh-cheh. a sporting comrade in hide-and-seek crime.
but its different when two little girls latch on to you as they would their mother. you suddenly feel responsible for their smiles, and their tears. for their wellbeing. for their growing pains. for their uncertainty and endless questions about boys, friends, rules, puberty and even about their ayah, who is the best friend i have apart from my beloved kai.
when i last saw aishah and khadijah, and they hugged me goodbye, the tears that welled up in their eyes told me more than any words they could have strung together.
i miss those two, and perhaps the reason why im dedicating this post to them is because theyve made me realise just how lovely it would be, and how so very important it is to me, to be a mother someday.
thank you my dear girls, my queen monica and queen kookaburra, for loving me so generously the way you do.
all my love,
aunty shen.
i think it must be the most wonderful feeling in the world to have children.
i also think most kids will be brats at some stage of their lives, and parents will have their moments where they rue the day the concieved the little monsters.
nevertheless, although ive always known that someday id really like to be a mommy, i never could have guessed how inexplicably wonderful it would feel to have two kids love me so unconditionally and genuinely with all their little hearts that it absolutely tears me apart to let them go.
of course, theyre not MY kids, and if they were, perhaps id feel differently about this altogether... what with sleepless nights, eyebags and the risk of never being fashionable again!
still, there's something innately beautiful about a child... and no, its not just that theyre pint-sized and cute or even cuddly.
it must be their open trusting faces, their wide-eyed innocence, their loving hearts so willingly and so easily placed in the care of your hands.
i never thought i was good with children. if ive ever been, its only been in the capacity of a big sister. a cheh-cheh. a sporting comrade in hide-and-seek crime.
but its different when two little girls latch on to you as they would their mother. you suddenly feel responsible for their smiles, and their tears. for their wellbeing. for their growing pains. for their uncertainty and endless questions about boys, friends, rules, puberty and even about their ayah, who is the best friend i have apart from my beloved kai.
when i last saw aishah and khadijah, and they hugged me goodbye, the tears that welled up in their eyes told me more than any words they could have strung together.
i miss those two, and perhaps the reason why im dedicating this post to them is because theyve made me realise just how lovely it would be, and how so very important it is to me, to be a mother someday.
thank you my dear girls, my queen monica and queen kookaburra, for loving me so generously the way you do.
all my love,
aunty shen.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
my boyfriend, the cartoonist.
like my boy will tell you, introducing yourself as a cartoonist (hell, even as an artist!) gets people interested.
you can say 'hi, im moe and im a roadsweeper' and have no one give you a second glance, but just try following that with '... and i cartoon in my free time' and watch how reactions change.
matter of fact, when i met kai about one and a half years ago, he won my attention far better than any lame pick-up line could when he wielded his mighty pen :)
guess what the ice breaker was?
*hiaks*
it was a caricature of ling liong sik!
and so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is with great pride and the highest honour that i take this opportunity to introduce you to my kai, the cartoonist.
enjoy!
you can say 'hi, im moe and im a roadsweeper' and have no one give you a second glance, but just try following that with '... and i cartoon in my free time' and watch how reactions change.
matter of fact, when i met kai about one and a half years ago, he won my attention far better than any lame pick-up line could when he wielded his mighty pen :)
guess what the ice breaker was?
*hiaks*
it was a caricature of ling liong sik!
and so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is with great pride and the highest honour that i take this opportunity to introduce you to my kai, the cartoonist.
enjoy!
Saturday, September 11, 2004
dina zaman, where are you?!!!
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Saturday, September 04, 2004
proof...
... a) that malaysia does not exist, or
... b) we're actually confused people who live in singapore, but speak bahasa indonesia!
found on a site named foreignfilms.com:
... b) we're actually confused people who live in singapore, but speak bahasa indonesia!
found on a site named foreignfilms.com:
Summary for Puteri Gunung Ledang (2004)
Director: Saw Teong Hin
Starring: TIARA JACQUELINA, M. NASIR
Country: Singapore
Language: Indonesian
Thursday, September 02, 2004
one word... geez!
Jedi Academy opens in Romania
Bucharest - A Star Wars acedemy that teaches about the religion of the Jedi, use of the light sabre and speaking in Wookiee has opened its doors in Romania.
Adrian Pavel, who runs the country's Star Wars Club, decided to found the Jedi Academy after getting so many questions from fellow fans on how they can be more like their heroes in the Star Wars films.
He told local daily Libertatea: "We have meetings and lectures, and we dress like Jedis, but this is no longer enough. We'll soon learn how to handle the light sabres in academy classes.
"The academy is open to everybody. There is a quiz with 100 questions that will cover even the darkest aspects of the Star Wars phenomenon that needs to be done in 24 hours. Anyone who passes quiz will have a place in the Jedi Academy."
The academy is also offering special modules for true devotees, like cooking some of the dishes seen in the Star Wars films including Wookiee Cookies, Princess Leia Danish doughnuts, Sand Trooper sandwiches and Twin Sun toasts. -- Ananova News
Bucharest - A Star Wars acedemy that teaches about the religion of the Jedi, use of the light sabre and speaking in Wookiee has opened its doors in Romania.
Adrian Pavel, who runs the country's Star Wars Club, decided to found the Jedi Academy after getting so many questions from fellow fans on how they can be more like their heroes in the Star Wars films.
He told local daily Libertatea: "We have meetings and lectures, and we dress like Jedis, but this is no longer enough. We'll soon learn how to handle the light sabres in academy classes.
"The academy is open to everybody. There is a quiz with 100 questions that will cover even the darkest aspects of the Star Wars phenomenon that needs to be done in 24 hours. Anyone who passes quiz will have a place in the Jedi Academy."
The academy is also offering special modules for true devotees, like cooking some of the dishes seen in the Star Wars films including Wookiee Cookies, Princess Leia Danish doughnuts, Sand Trooper sandwiches and Twin Sun toasts. -- Ananova News
oh, and i forgot to add...
... pulling out your wisdom tooth is no fun.
got it yanked this morning by a very enthusiastic dentist, and i'm NOT appreciating having to eat broth all day and everyday for the next three days.
although, i must say, the requisite icecream that comes with a soft diet is something im not going to complain about :)
got it yanked this morning by a very enthusiastic dentist, and i'm NOT appreciating having to eat broth all day and everyday for the next three days.
although, i must say, the requisite icecream that comes with a soft diet is something im not going to complain about :)
live jitterbugs.
astronews went live for the first time yesterday, after a few years of being pre-recorded a half hour before on-air transmission.
after gaining all my experience in the live format during my years at ntv7, the whole pre-recorded thingamijiggy at astro felt rather strange at first, but over the months, i'd begun to get used to it... even appreciating the relief of being able to say 'cut!' after making some real major boo-boos during recording. boy, wouldnt you have liked to have seen some of those!
somehow though, and you'd have thought it was all no sweat thanks to experience, yesterday was jittery for all of us involved in the live switch.
most of the studio team hadnt done a live feed for years, and some were completely new to the live format. and amir, cool cat that he is, couldnt help feeling the butterflies at the thought of anchoring the show live for the first time in at least two years.
sitting in the control room for studio 6 as we stoodby at 6.45pm, i felt that lurch of nervousness quite a few times. had we covered everything?
graphics?
check.
line-up?
check.
rundown?
check.
newswrap?
check.
intro, tease, goodbye?
check, check, check.
then again, when you go live, you can have thought of everything, and still miss something.
like, for example, forgetting to remove the over-the-shoulder (OTS) graphic on screen during 'winners and losers'.
or silly little typos that you swore you didnt see earlier.
or, and this is classic, forgetting which button to press to roll the credits (!).
still, considering there are only three people on the team thats puts astro's business segment together... amir, sreejit and yours truly, i guess we're doing ok.
and the team at studio 6 are slowly learning to overcome the live jitterbugs :)
we could always use another hand though... and suggestions, comments, or criticisms sure help.
so if anybody's been able to catch our show for the past two days, tell us what you think and what we're missing.
oh, and you dont have to be kind.
:)
after gaining all my experience in the live format during my years at ntv7, the whole pre-recorded thingamijiggy at astro felt rather strange at first, but over the months, i'd begun to get used to it... even appreciating the relief of being able to say 'cut!' after making some real major boo-boos during recording. boy, wouldnt you have liked to have seen some of those!
somehow though, and you'd have thought it was all no sweat thanks to experience, yesterday was jittery for all of us involved in the live switch.
most of the studio team hadnt done a live feed for years, and some were completely new to the live format. and amir, cool cat that he is, couldnt help feeling the butterflies at the thought of anchoring the show live for the first time in at least two years.
sitting in the control room for studio 6 as we stoodby at 6.45pm, i felt that lurch of nervousness quite a few times. had we covered everything?
graphics?
check.
line-up?
check.
rundown?
check.
newswrap?
check.
intro, tease, goodbye?
check, check, check.
then again, when you go live, you can have thought of everything, and still miss something.
like, for example, forgetting to remove the over-the-shoulder (OTS) graphic on screen during 'winners and losers'.
or silly little typos that you swore you didnt see earlier.
or, and this is classic, forgetting which button to press to roll the credits (!).
still, considering there are only three people on the team thats puts astro's business segment together... amir, sreejit and yours truly, i guess we're doing ok.
and the team at studio 6 are slowly learning to overcome the live jitterbugs :)
we could always use another hand though... and suggestions, comments, or criticisms sure help.
so if anybody's been able to catch our show for the past two days, tell us what you think and what we're missing.
oh, and you dont have to be kind.
:)
